Rauthgundis Süß

The lonely warrior

My brother often says: "I think my mother thought another Hitler type would come until she closed her eyes."I wouldn't put it past her. (whispers): Terrible! Is there anything else you'd like to know?

Yes. My mother wasn't the way I always imagined her to be. I always imagined my mother would be considerate, loving, that she would be caring to all of us. But my mother was so hard, she took an interest in politics very early. This meaning she took an interest in National Socialist politics. They (the parents) always received signals, messages and my parents acted accordingly. They tried to recruit new "comrades" in Innsbruck and the surrounding area. And then, when the time had come, my father became the Gauleiter (Provincial Governor) of Tyrol. My parents began to concern themselves with the Party more and more. I was so little then that I didn't feel any of this yet. Then a boy came, a brother. He was born on 28 October, just like me, only a year later. I was born in 1922. Another brother came then and another little brother after him to round things off. And my father told us and said, "I am so happy, you should also be happy, we have a little brother (Hatto Georg Scheer). His name will be Hatto, Ha, ha, ha," and clapped his hands. "Yes, yes, our Führer Adolf Hitler has another soldier."

But really, that was the one thing. My father liked making things, with paper, cardboard. He made a large column once, I think it was man-high. He drew a fat Jew on it with pencils, decorating it, right? And we asked, "Vati, what is it? What do you have there? We've never seen a tower like that." "Yes children, this a measurement column and I have fat Jew on it." (So we asked:) "Yes, and what are the fat bags for?" "Yes that is so people can see that the Jews grab everything, all the thousands!" He had drawn thousand schilling notes on the sacks. And Witolf and I had to help him fasten it to the hay wagon with strings. We drove out back, we laughed so much. Witolf and I laughed at the tower. "Yes, children, you just laugh, you'll see: We'll All go under if Hitler doesn't come soon." ... And it was 1932, we put it up on the square, in front of the Hotel Post. When we came home from school, the pretty column was kicked in and torn, squashed. People who didn't like that kind of thing did it. Father didn't say anything. "Aren't you sad, Vati?" "Not at all, I'll think of something else. I won't stop, those bums have to go at some point." That was their attitude, even then.

We moved to Eisenstadt, in Burgenland. What was up there? Well, I turned 14 and mother came and said: "Look, Rauthi: You're 14 now, now you can be a BDM girl ." But it was already forbidden then, because the Party, all parties had been forbidden in 1934. "But it's illegal, do you undertsand that? Girls will meet and one of them will be the leader. None of you can tell anyone." ..."Yes, am I the first BDM girl?" "You can be proud of it." She took me there. And we met there often, took things to mend with us and the Gestapo came often. They would ring and then look around, checking to see what we were doing. We weren't allowed to sing, somebody might have heard that. But we read different things and did our chores before leaving again.

...Many of them were already Nazis, it spread to many, especially to the poor they were (very) interested, since they were almost starving. That was really bad. When people didn't have anything to eat. You couldn't buy anything to wear either and every second store in Esienstadt was Jewish. Yes, Delka was a Jew and all the fabric stores, every large store, except for food stores was in Jewish hands. Then that was all done away with after 1938.

Well, we also had Jews at our school. There was a very sweet girl right behind me, Susanne Greiner. Black braids, full hair, very sweet.. She was very quiet and I used to talk to her a lot. We got along well. I accompanied her home once, she lived on the Main Square. Her father was a veterinarian, which is actually a miracle, isn't it? Yes, and somebody saw me, I don't know if it was one of my brothers or someone else. They ran to my mother and said, "Your Rauthi went home with that Greiner girl." They meant Susanne Greiner. Did I ever get smacked! Left and right, until I couldn't see anymore, then I got belted.

Yes, (clears her throat) my mother started sewing Swastika armbands, Swastika pennants and Swastika flags (together) with other women right after, actually right before the annexation. After all, everything had to be prepared for when the Führer comes, hadn’t it? So, that was mother.

Then(with the annexation of Austria) it started up and they went out on the street and handed them out, making sure the men all had armbands.

And then the annexation came in 1938. You can't imagine the cheering in the streets. We always thought so many people were against it. But all of them came, the whole main street was packed. I don't know where all the people came from, but they all cheered and yelled, "Heil! Heil! Heil! Hitler is coming! Hitler is coming!" And the reason for their happiness was the great unemployment, the people barely had anything to eat.

Then, yes, they told the BDM girls that there was a voluntary year in the country. A voluntary mandatory year. First they said "Country Year". Then they said "voluntary mandatory year". Well, fine. I registered immediately. Anything to get away from home. Things can only be better somewhere else. And my father didn't get involved, he didn't get involved in my upbringing at all. He was kindness impersonated and just did his work, but suddenly he didn't get along with mother. Only in politics they were in full agreement.

So I registered and had to go to Vienna. Girls came from all over Austria then, they were my age, sixteen. We were divided into different packs there. We didn't know where we were going. "Well, where are you sending us?" "Yes, you'll see." Then the BDM leaders joined us and they unloaded us in Schleswig-Holstein. From Burgenland to Schleswig-Holstein, yes indeed.

She couldn't do much for the Party, but (she could) in the "Frauenschaft" (Women's Association). The women all joined together in the "Frauenschaft". They mainly - at the beginning of the war, that is - put together packages for the soldiers at the front. That was in 1939, September of 1939. They made socks and all sorts of things in advance to make sure there was enough. It was very nice that they thought of it and then actually did it. What else did she do?

She was assigned to duty at a concentration camp. There were only Poles there. They made weapons, no, ammunition and she had to supervise them. Once my father said to me, "That's exactly the right position for our mother, she can be energetic and in charge there."

Then my father said to me, "Don't you want to become a Kindergarden teacher? I'll tell you one thing, you have to get training. The NSV will use you to the hilt and then send you away when they don't need you anymore. And you won't have a thing." Thank God he said that to me.

(Note: Rauthgundis Süß reported to the NSV selection camp for future Kindergarden teachers in Tulln, Lower Austria and passed the entrance exam in the Spring of 1940. Although she made her mother very proud by becoming the first BDM girl in Eisenstadt, she was expelled from school):

Suddenly a supervisor, no a BDM leader came in her garb, a dark skirt and white blouse. She said to another BDM leader, "Bring Scheer up." I was born a Scheer - I went up to the large room and that BDM leader was sitting in the corner. We had to greet like this (shows the Hitler Salute), there was no way around it. Then she started screaming at me, "You can't attend this school, because you aren't of Aryan descent. "What that can't be! I stamped the floor with my foot, "Impossible, that can't be." "Yes, you'll see. I'll pack up all your things and you'll go home tomorrow." That was it. I got home and felt my throat lock up. I couldn't say anything, not a word, as if I had an iron ring around my throat. I had the package with my school work, reports and everything else. It also included a letter from the so-called Parteimann (Party Man) who had informed the school that I was one-eighth Jewish. The leader didn't explain anything to me at first, then she said, "Yes, it says so right here, black on white. It said I wasn't of pure Aryan descent and that was the end of the story.

And I came home, mother called for dinner and I didn't come. I sat on my bed with the package lying next to me. She came again, "Well, aren't you coming to dinner?" Couldn't say a word. She came closer, looking, I took the package and gave it to her. What could I do? She went into my father's office immediately, he was already self-employed, come out again and says, "Well, this is all slander, you shouldn't believe any of it. It's all slander, hateful thing for hateful thing, you can forget all of it." So I was left standing there in a dilemma: the leader had yelled at me for not being of pure Aryan descent and my mother said it was all slander. What was true? I struggled with that for a long time, since I couldn't aske anyone.

And if only they had found out that I went to Posen! I only told my friend and my boyfriend from when I was young then. They didn't tell anybody else and no one found me. Otherwise I might never have found a job.

Then I went to the employment office to see if they had anything for me. "Yes, yes, you could run a kindergarden, a harvesting kindergarden." I said: "But I don't have any experience." "You'll go to the City Kindergarden and take a look at things for three," or was it four weeks? I don't know exactly anymore. "You'll see what there is to do and then come back to us."

I was sent to St. Margarethen in Burgenland after that crash course. That's where registration was completed, which I had to take care of myself, as it was the case with everything else later...

I had sixty, really I had sixty in the end.

Then we discovered the following in a youth magazine: A seminar was being opened, a school for childcare, kindergarden teachers, children's ward supervisors and public healthcare. "That's where I want to go." So I wrote them. Yes, I could come and that 's the way it was then. I got there and they said, "Wait upstairs!" I was alone. The rest were taking the entrance examination. I didn't see anyone except in the office. She said, "Go up to the first floor, take a seat and wait until the girls and the teachers come out." I sat there quietly and thought: "My God, I can hear something there. What's happening, somebody's crying. This can't be." I turned around, and yes: a pretty girl was sitting at the window. Beautiful long braids and she cried and cried and cried. I didn't know whether I should go over to her and ask her why she was sitting there all alone. Somebody had to know. All the others were in the classrooms. Then a teacher came out and I asked, "Frau Melcher, why is that girl crying so much?" "Yes, that's..." Then she stunned me. "She isn't of pure Aryan descent and won't be admitted to this school." Why did I have to hear that explanation?" Nobody found out, because they were all in the classrooms, only me. And I didn't tell anyone because I was afraid they might squeal - I didn't know the girls that well. One of them could have been in communication with home and then the whole circus would have started all over again. They would have kicked me out of there too.

Hmhm. Yes we were trained as kindergarden teachers and ward supervisors in Posen. There were always a few weeks in the Summer during which we were sent here and there on internships. The teachers decided who was sent where. I was sent to Pforzheim for natal care training. That was unbelievable. Yes, it was wonderful and well, it was a lot of work.

And suddenly we all went out to the country, the whole class went to a village that belonged to the Poles. The Poles had been eradicated and repopulated with German refugee families, families who wanted to come to Germany. Hitler just thought, ah, well, Posen, and another bit and yes, that will also be German and I'll populate it with Germans. And we had to help the families there, they couldn't settle there properly since, there wasn't anything left in Polish villages. They just lived there, in primitive circumstances. They probably didn't get anything either. Nonetheless, we made sure things were in order there and then met in our camp afterwards...

Our children spoke Polish in part. They stemmed from mixed marriages. Polish mothers and German soldiers. And so naturally Hitler had them summoned and said, "We'll take a look at them, have them examined. If their blood is 50 per cent German," - I don't know how they did that, it is beyond my scope - " they will be eingedeutscht. (germanified)"

And I don't know who decided which people were to be germanified. We had such children in the home. We were informed. There was also a little girl, she was my sweetheart, I still have a picture of her. She also had a Polish mother as well as grandmother and aunt, and a German father. I think the father might even have been an officer. And she came to us and the Heimleiterin (Home Director), simply wanted to integrate her into a family, offer her up for adoption. And the little girl couldn't speak a word of German when she arrived. She just sat there and cried, cried, didn't eat and cried again. There wasn't anything we could do with her.

And then a Polish lady came one day, no, it was two Polish ladies and they came at just about noon. Fortunately, the office employee wasn't there, because she would have been against it if she'd been there. And these ladies asked, "Please show us Nanja." "Ah, that is difficult, said Frau Suhr, "What time is it now? Oh well, its only a quarter past twelve... . well, until two, but you can't tell anyone." "I'm the gandmother and this is her aunt." The children were sleeping, but they wanted to see her (Nanja). I went up, took her in my arm and put her on the table, the little girl. She was already looking at them as strangers. But when they spoke, then she recognized them... They told me, the mother told me that she resisted, fought so hard for the child. She was sent to the concentration camp at Hamburg then as punishment.

20 January. Our superiors did not permit us to prepare anything, "Beware of preparing anything!" Like taking out clothing for the children for example. There were sixty children in the home then, ages three to seventeen. And (clears her throat) the superiors were fleeing at the same time. They were gone then, we were standing there and just told by telephone , "We're sending you a man, he'll accompany you to the main train station." No trams or busses were running, nothing. The city was silent, as if it had died, the shutters were closed down. We went to the train station with the children, the little ones, there were also three year-olds in the group. We walked for two hours and the man walked with us. When we got there, in front of the station, there was a small fence. The man saw a train, jumped over the fence and was gone. And we were standing there with sixty children. Who were we? Frau Suhr (Home Director), die Frau Benzin (Financial Officer), an intern - the other kindergarden teacher was already gone due to marriage - and me. There were four adults, two girls of mandatory school age, fifteen, and sixty children. We were just stunned for for the moment, how were we women to make sure we got through this? The train station was full of refugees, all of them from the east, Litzmannstadt was burning, we had still managed to hear that on the radio. Then the boxes, suitcases, children's beds and crates, they were all standing there in the train station. People, you could only see people all around.

Well, we arrived in Berlin: Everything out and we had to collect the children. Once again some of the NSV people showed up, that was a form of aid service that was everywhere. Kindergardens, all of those facilities were subordinated to them, to the NSV. They came and said, "Yes, we're bring you to the Zoo Bunker. We don't have anything else, you'll have to be happy with that." But nobody said a thing, everyone was happy they were getting something. Into the Zoo Bunker.

Then we heard we were to report to the recuperational facility at Strausberg bei Berlin.

So there we were in Strausberg bei Berlin and the Home Director came, a really ugly fellow and said, "Give me the boys, the young ones, the girls go over there and you can keep the little ones, there are two rooms." And then we sat there, the boys and girls never joined us. They couldn't, since the boys had immediately been assigned to work. They were given black stockings and and dark slippers and had to go to work. They didn't ask (us) whether we agreed, or whether they were allowed. Then Frau Suhr said,"No, they're just incorporating our children into this facility, this is insane, we can't leave the children here."

"We have to do something. I'll write a letter and you, Frau Süß will go to Potsdam and deliver the letter, in case our superiors really are there." The Home Director was very strict: "No child, no person leaves my insitute." "That's fine." So I put on a Trenchcoat, a low hat and pulled up the collar and slipped out. I went to Potsdam, got there and explained where we had landed and that it was unbearable. "Yes, well we are already considering, yes considering whether we can bring you up north, but things still have to be negotiated." So I said, "Very soon, I hope, because what our children have to endure there is horrible."

Then, it took one or two weeks, we were sent to the North Sea area of Bad Boltenhagen. But we had to arrange to travel there ourselves, there was no transportation...

Yes, so I went home again and nobody caught me. I conveyed the message and Frau Suhr said, well fine, but we have to prepare now. She wasn't old yet... I was 22 and she 32, she was still young. We have to make sure to catch the boys somewhere, or at least one of them and let them know that they... We decided on a day and then had to wait a few more days and think carefully. We arranged for them to come fully clothed in their own things. We then asked them if they would come along. Yes, they could and the girls would too and we had the little ones anyway. So we simply fled, took off with the children.

We rode and rode, I don't know if we had to change trains or not, and we finally landed in Bad Boltenhagen. There was a children's home their, a private children's home. It had been confiscated, I don't know why. We later heard that the government needed it, full stop.

Looking for lodgings

We had to ask for assistance from the Red Cross because we heard that many of the children didn't even come from Posen and the surroundings. Many had come to the Gauaufnahmeheim (Provincial Children's Home) as Ferienkinder, (vacation children) from Berlin, Hamburg and Hannover. We figured they could be returend to their homes and the Red Cross gave us their addresses. So then I drove around with the children and brought them there (home).

Some of our children spoke Polish, they were from mixed marriages. Polish mothers and German soldiers. And so if they (the children Rauthgundis Süß took care of) spoke Polish when the Russians came, well, good night. So we were escaping again. We didn't have a choice. We heard on the radio: "The Englishman is coming." "No, the Russian is coming again!" "No, the Englishman is coming today!" "Oh my God, the Russian is already in Warsaw, we have to go." So there was a glider airbase with a field hospital there and the officer there formed up the children's home employees. They were given a ship and they wanted to sail west, escape since most of them had wives and children. Frau Suhr and I found this out and went and asked him if he would please take us along. "Well, we already have, you see, we have so many officers and their wives also want to get away. They're as afraid as you are." So then I said, "Yes, exactly, we're also that afraid." So he finally relented and said we were to come first thing the next morning.

We were 26 children and us. The financial officer was also there still. It wasn't a passenger ship, it was a cargo ship and it had a huge empty belly filled with straw and covered with horse blankets. "Yes, you can chose a spot and all lie there." Then came the officer's wives. We already had a spot at the bottom and I just stood two children up, because I wanted to straighten their clothes. And an officer's wife came and knocked my two chidren down with a single sweep of her hand. That's when I had my first nervous break down. That was horrible for me, but we had to get along with them until we got to Eckernförde

Ha, on the ship we were promised a courier who would help us find a place somewhere when we arrived in Eckernförde. We get to Eckernförde and the courier isn't there. He was probably caught in the bombings and never showed up. So now we were standing there, the children in little clusters and the windows of the buildings suddenly open and they look down, "What are you doing there?" Where did you come from? Aren't you hungry? Come up, we'll give you something." They informed the Mayor, the courier wasn't there, nobody had told him or anyone else. "Well, what are we going to do with you? This is difficult. Oh well, we also have a kindergarden here, its fully equipped and isn't being used at the moment. We could put the children there. We already have trained people. But I can't help you, the adults. You have to figure out how you can get out of here yourselves. I don't have any lodgings for you, I wouldn't know where."

And that's the way it was then. Frau Suhr took all the papers for each child out and gave them to the Mayor. We asked later and everything went well.

Thank God the English were sent there. That was on May 9^th, that's when they arrived there.

Yes, we noticed that the war was coming to an end as time passed. Everyone had believed and hoped until then because we hadn't seen or heard anything. But after everything collapsed we said, "Well, it couldn't have gone on that way." No, completely impossible. We had to start our lives anew. For me, that time, wasn't bearable anymore. I would never, ever have wished it had come.

Yes, maybe my parents would have - forever.

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Copyright © 2001 by Ruth Deutschmann, Vienna

Ruth Deutschmann

Vienna, 31 July 2001